#RealLifeMoms (April)

03 April, 2020 by Sandy Jenkins in Real Life Moms

Hi Mamas!

Every month we would like to feature our #RealLifeMom. Whether you have been through a pregnancy or birthing ordeal, or have an interesting story to share, or even if you are just experiencing the normal motions of Motherhood, we want to hear from you!

Email: hello@yaybaby.co.za and put #RealLifeMom in the subject line, and we will get back to you.

Everyone benefits from sharing their stories and hearing someone else's.

This month we are featuring first-time, full time working Mama of the cutest little man:

Abby Wearne

Abby is a 34 year old, Interior Designer (and Director at Chisel Designs) based in Durban, KZN.

The little man in the photo above is Harvey (now 6 and a half months old)

We got to chat to Abby about life as a Real Life Mom, and asked her a few questions.

You have always been super passionate about your career and are exceptionally good at what you do. What is the most difficult thing you have had to overcome since having Harvey, in this regard?

"Trying to find a balance that kind of works (I don’t know if one can ever completely get that right).

That it's ok that I actually REALLY enjoy being at work.

Answering the question from others, “but don’t you worry, don’t you miss him, don’t you just love being a mom” and realising that if I'm honest my answer is "no I don’t".

So you lie and say "yes of course", because that is what the socially accepted answer is.

And I think that’s ok, because I LOVE my baby. And the answers to those questions don’t change that in anyway.

I don’t love waking up 4 times a night and having no sleep, I don’t love getting vomited on. When I'm at work I'm being me, and focusing on what needs to get done, which is important when you have your own business...of course until one comes across a pic of your baby and then you spend a few minutes thinking how super cute they are!"

Tell us a little about having a newborn:

"Well I wasn’t quite ready! Harvey was only born 2 weeks early but I had a lot I wanted to get done still. His room was a mess, there was literally a hole in the floor. But all of that doesn’t matter when you bring your baby home, all they really need is you! Who knew those first couple weeks would be good practise for social distancing and quarantine.

You go to antenatal classes, you see things in movies, but nothing quite prepares you for giving birth. No one can really explain how its going to feel. When my water broke I thought maybe I had just pee’d in my pants hahahaha."

Do you have any advice for new moms?

"At first you aren’t quite sure what you are doing, that’s ok. You will figure it all out and work out what works best for you and your baby. So don’t stress about the small stuff. There are a gazillion things you could worry about, but that will only stress you and subsequently your baby out.

There is also a lot of advice out there, and some of it can be conflicting even from friends. Because what worked for one person does not necessarily work for another. Follow that mom intuition. Also choose one person to listen to, perhaps the nurse at your baby clinic or your mom. But in saying that still remember that what they say may not work for you and that’s OK. As one of my friends once said, Babies haven’t gotten a chance to read “the book” yet!"

What was the best advice that YOU received?

"Do what works for you."

What was the most useful product/item that you purchased or were gifted?

"Definitely my silicone breast pump, and I'm so glad Yay Baby stocks one! The type that catches your let down. I would buy one of these over an electric breast pump. It catches more than just your let down because of the suction, so you can actually collect a fair amount while also feeding your baby. Do that at a couple of your feeds during the day and you have one spare bottle saved that can go in the freezer."

5 MUST HAVE pregnancy/baby items/products:

For pregnancy – comfy pregnancy pants
The silicone breast pump
A moses basket on a stand – it is a bit of a luxury item but when they are little its so much easier to be able to put them down near you. Or a sleeping pod, so you can put them down close to you while you are doing something.
Cloth nappies – its really important to me to try and be eco friendly and reduce Harvey’s carbon foot print
A playmat – you don’t necessarily need a fancy playmat that is colour co-ordinated to your nursery (but as an interior designer mine obvs matches my nursery). My mom made one for me out of left over fabric. You don’t need it in the beginning but after the new born phase Harvey literally plays on it every day.

3 things that MUST go in your hospital bag:

Snacks! And you know your husband is going to steal some so pack extra or hide the good stuff.
A larger “toiletry bag” if you are not one of the lucky ones to have a private room with a bathroom. So that when you want to go shower you can throw your actual toiletry bag, your change of clothes, the hideous large pads you have to wear in to one easy to carry bag. Instead of looking like you’ve gone shopping and forgotten your bags at home and insist you don’t need a “plastic”.
Granny panties, the bigger and unflattering the better. You want to be comfortable

3 things that MUST go on your baby shower registry:

Hmmm, for me it was really great getting cute clothes so I didn’t have to buy any. Im only going to start running out now
Something local, I'm not a big baby store kind of person. Going in one while pregnant just gave me anxiety
Be specific if there is something specific you want even its just the colour scheme you want, or you get what you get and you don’t get upset (quote curtesy of my 5 year old nephew)

1 thing you feel that you absolutely DID NOT need:

I was quite careful with my purchases just getting the essentials with the philosophy of, I’ll wait and see if I actually need it. So the only thing that I bought that I didn’t use at all was a head cushion for in your car chair to stop their head from moving around. And the only reason I never used it was because our car chair has a small one built in that you can take out as they get bigger. So check what you have first.

Do you have a parting thought for our other Real Life Mamas:

"Take it all in, take all the photos, they grow so quickly!"

Quick Fire Challenge

(The below aims to normalize motherhood. We get so worked up over “doing the right thing” when in actual fact there is no right thing. You are doing a great job if your baby is fed, clean, dry and happy. You got this Mama!)

Breast or Bottle or Both

Breast to start and then both when he got a bit older

Cloth Nappies or Disposables

Cloth

Natural Birth or C-Section

Natural

Followed a strict schedule or went with the flow

Went with the flow.

Co-Sleep or Own Bed (from the beginning)

Co-sleeping in his own basket

Full term or Premature

Pretty much full term

Stay at Home Mom or Back to Work

Back to work

Nanny or Playschool/Creche

Nanny

Pureed Food or Baby Led Weaning

Pureed but trying to encourage textures

Disclaimer: This blog is made available by Yay Baby for general information purposes only. By using this blog you understand that these articles are in no way a substitute for actual medical or professional advice.

If you have any questions relating to this article, for Yay Baby or for Abby directly, feel free to post in the comments below!

Tags: #reallifemom, advice, blog, mom, momblog, motherhood

#RealLifeMom (March)

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